Confession
by TorchwoodFallenAngel
Summary: Dean confesses. Wincest. Kinda dark. Includes references to dub-con and one or two mentions of suicide.


Okay...Phew. This is my first ever Supernatural fanfiction. It was written for a friend but I was so proud of it I decided to publish it here as well. I am pretty proud of it. It is wincest which does mean it is incest between Dean and Sam Winchester (hence the name). It also includes reference to dub-con, which for those of you who don't know, is dubiously-consensual sex. There are also one or two slight references to suicide. There is however, nothing too graphic. That is why it is a T _not_ an M.

Anyway, enough from me, but please, please, _please_ Read, Enjoy and Review. Thank you.

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Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.

Last night my brother, four years my junior and still with innocence in his heart, came to me. He was drunk, Lord, his breath rich with the scent of whisky. He was unsteady on his feet, like a sapling in the wind, and his mind was addled. He kissed me then Lord, with all the enthusiasm and candour of youth. He tasted sweet Lord, like innocence and childish naivety. He knew not what he was doing Lord, so please forgive him. He did not sin, Lord, and if he did he had no awareness of it. He is my brother Lord, not a sinner. It is I who is the sinner. I am an abomination, Lord, not worthy of your love nor the love of my brother.

You see, when my brother kissed me, Lord, his mind and senses numbed and blurred, I welcomed it. I drew him closer, Lord, and held him tight and kissed him deeper. I tasted him Lord, the whisky sweet and dangerous, and as I did I stole his sweetness, Lord, stripped the purity from his soul. I know I should have stopped, Lord, should have put him to bed and left it there, never to be mentioned again. But I couldn't Lord.

For years I had hidden it, my love for my brother- a love more disgusting than hate- and it was if a barrier had been opened, letting the darkness in my soul burn through my veins like a poison of the worst kind.

With hands shaking like dead leaves in a breeze, but I had not a drop of alcohol in my blood Lord, so I cannot blame this on the devil's drink, I stripped the clothes from my brother's back. He fell half way through Lord, crumpling against me, knees giving way as the alcohol worked its way through his body and I knew I should have stopped again. But I didn't. I drew him to the bed and lay him down. I removed all his clothes, Lord, until he lay beneath me, exposed to all, pure and untouched.

I took him then Lord, violated him and corrupted him and stained him. I abused him Lord, raped him. I utilised his body to satisfy the most disgusting and sinful of my carnal needs. I believe that I was the first, Lord, to take him in such a way, and that makes me all the more repulsive.

I left early this morning Lord, slipped away with the rising of the sun. I left before my brother could wake and realise that his own brother is more repellent than any of the monsters we hunt; realise what I had done to him, how I have tainted him for evermore.

Lord I beg of you, for although I will never now be welcome in your kingdom, please welcome my brother. He is not a sinner. I am. He is a lamb, Lord, and I am a wolf. He is an innocent, an angel, and I am a sinner, a demon in human guise, whose blood runs with poison and who corrupts everything he touches. I am despicable Lord.

Whatever Lucifer has in store for me I will take it all. I deserve it; every second of pain, every moment torture. It will be my absolution. All I ask is that you keep Sam save. Watch over him and when he dies welcome him into your kingdom with open arms. Please honour this Lord, for this is my last request.

Since I am destined for Hell I may as well go with haste, with no delay, for the longer I stay here Lord, the longer my brother will suffer. I beg of you once more Lord, please bless my brother and do not punish him for my sins.

Amen.

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Well. I really hope you enjoyed this fic and please review it, even it's just to tell me what a sick and twisted bitch I am. Actually, if you are just reviewing to tell me that...Go screw yourself. I don't give a damn. If not...tell me why you liked it, why you didn't, contribute ideas if you so wish and I beg of you all, please point out _any_ mistakes. It all helps me become a better writer. Thank you.


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